Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Going Out - Attempt 2

Well after my fail attempt at going out and pretending to be social last weekend, I have decided to make another attempt this Friday night.
When I was going through my millions (number may have been exaggerated) of comments on various post displaying how and why I fail at life, I decided I will pander to your requests/comments. One in particular is this one from Randomly Reticulated: 'Damn no girl in 5 years? Holy shit dude. Goto a bar or something, fuck.' (I particularly like the extra 'fuck' added at the end)

But this tip brings with it some problems, one in particular mentioned by JP: 'a tip, don’t go to a club alone, that will just make you look awkward to other people! try meeting people that go out and then go out with them! the bigger the group the better! (like 5-8)' To which I replied in the comments: How do you meet people for going out without going out to meet people?
Seriously, I have no one to go out with in the first place. :(
(Take note of the sad face at the end there, I'm so sad... in the pants)

So now I turn to you, my millions of dedicated fanatical followers, what should I do this Friday night? Should I go out to a club? The problem there is that I have real problems communicating with people at clubs because I can never understand a word they are saying because the music is so loud. I have noticed other people somehow have developed some kind of supernatural way off reading other peoples body language to determine if they are interested or not when at clubs... unfortunately I never quite learned that.

I could go to a bar, but I'm not sure if you have ever been to a bar by yourself... it is fucking awkward. Whenever you go to a bar by yourself, it is very clear that you are the ONLY person there that is by themselves. Everyone is there in groups, somehow you have to approach a group to socialise.
There are groups of guys, who when you approach leaves you with a 80% chance of them staring at you like an idiot and then telling you to fuck off, and a 19% chance of getting punched in the face, and 1% chance of someone actually including you in some form of conversation.
There are groups of mixed guys and girls, which leaves you with a 50% change of face punching because one of the guys thinks you are hitting on their girlfriend, 49% chance of the girls laughing at your face because you look like a try hard desperate loner, and 1% chance of someone taking pity on you and including you in a conversation.
And lastly there are groups of girls which (if you are male, and alone) gives you a 50% chance of 'not interested' and 50% chance of 'fuck off' (unless you go straight for the fattest, most ugly girl there... and even then, the chances are one of her drunk friends will 'cock block' you)

The environment I have found I have performed best with being able to semi fit-in and pretend to be social is at parties. But the problem there is... I have no friends. I can't get invited to a party if there is no one to invite me. The last time I went to a party it was years ago with people I met on the internet.

So I ask you... what should I do Friday night? Whatever happens I will post the results which will either be me saying how I succeeded at being social, or most likely me saying how, once again, I fail at life.

TLDR; going out Friday, wut do?


  1. Good luck at this. Thanks for the mention, it really means a lot even though I contributed almost nothing as a poster. I have gone to bars plenty of times by myself, but I don't go with the intention of bagging a lady. Usually it's so I can get shit faced while listening to decent music. If bars are not for you, try just chilling at a place you like. A coffee house, a library. Really the whole point is to just put yourself into a social situation, in an area you are comfortable with. One huge tip I can provide you with is just be yourself, and be confident in yourself. It's hard to appear normal in a social setting sweating bullets or acting nervous. People like that come off as being unstable and someone to avoid. Another idea is to finally meet your e-friends and make them official RL friends if they are locally convenient.

    Hope that helps!

  2. If the club isn't for you, then you shouldn't force yourself to go and dwell in misery.

    Try a more relaxed setting like a bar. Good luck bro.

  3. Get a new haircut
    Feel good about yourself

  4. i go out all the time by myself o.o but then im the very talkative type and i go up to strangers to bother them some and talk to. its how i've met most of my friends =D

    Best place to meet people to go out with is to go to local gigs or events, even if u don't like the music, get in the crowd and just randomly start talking to the person next to you about how awesome this is, theres always lots of friendly people about at gigs and such =3 and alot of people go alone so just do it =D

    have confidence, psyche yourself and just do it! whats the worst that can happen? ^^

  5. aww, dude i feel ur pain, i never go anywheres nor have anybody to go out with in the first place, life sucks bro :( hopefully next time u will succeed!

  6. nice post! i like it very much;)
    supportin you & follow you :)

  7. i'm glad to hear that <3

    supportin you <3

  8. When I go to a bar alone, I just sit at the bar listening in on people's convo's for a bit, and then when you hear something you actually know something about, blend into the conversation, or at least try to. Usually works for me, and especially if you go to the same bar over and over again, you'll find like-minded people sooner or later.

    Good luck bro, I hope you nail it the first time, but it might take some time for this to work.

  9. Yeah don't go to a club if you don't like that, you'll just feel akward and bored. It's just not for everyone.

    Find some friendly looking pub where you could have some kind of philosophical disscution, I think it would be more your kind of thing =P

  10. I'm glad to see you're beating inertia today.

  11. I'm pretty much in the same situation as you are. Glad I'm not the only one. Word of advice: don't go to bars or clubs alone. I've done that and it has ended very badly. The first comment has some good advice so listen to him.

    Also I finished your whale. (I'm sure I made atleast a few people go wtf with that comment)

  12. your posts keep getting better and better!

  13. If you don't take anything from anything anyone says, at least take the "Don't go alone" part to heart. What do you do for work? Can you think of at least one coworker who would go out with you or a friend or even a sibling? Just one person is all you need; not a possy.

    Go to a place that you find you are comfortable in...don't go to a club if you don't want to be there.

    I always get myself pumped to go out by blasting dance music while I'm getting ready. Take a boombox into the bathroom with you, and blast something that gets you hyped up and energized while you're in the shower!! This will help you to feel confident.

    This sounds stupid, but make faces at yourself in the mirror. Knowing what your facial expressions look like to other people raises the fuck out of your charisma. Take some angle shots with your camera.

    CONFIDENCE. If you know you look hot, you will be hot to others.

    If you believe you are hot, you are hot.

    Brainstorm ideas of where to go with the person going with you. They may know of a good place.

    Hang out with an acquaintance; Someone you've never really hung out with before. That person will have a new network of friends, and possibly babes, for you to meet! It all can get so much bigger just from one person broadening your horizons.

  14. Also, showing some love today. Good luck.

  15. You know...if you're not feeling social you don't have to force yourself, bro. Surrounding yourself with a huge group of people is hard to handle. Find someone to chill with for an evening or something and then slowly meet others and just take it slow. Good friends take time to make. Shit, dude. Where do you live? I'll totally hang out with you.

  16. Wow, I'm not sure if your blog was supposed to have the concept of us deciding your life, but it's a fucking great idea.

    Anyways, go out. Everyone is drunk, people won't remember you. Nothing to lose, perhaps something to gain. But then again, what the fuck do I know? Never been to clubs.