Saturday, September 11, 2010

Going out?

Last night I worked up some motivation and I decided that I was going to go out to a club and pretend to be a social guy.

Well that was the plan anyway. What actually happened was a little less exciting. I had a shower and a shave, made myself look decent, looked at myself in the mirror and said "damn boy you lookin` fiiine" (note: may not have actually been looking fine)

I was feeling pretty tyred, I had actually been feeling sleepy all day, but I was not going to let that stop me. I had a look at the time and it was not even 9pm yet so I thought I would have a lay down a rest a bit before going out so I would not feel so sleepy when I head out at about 10:30pm. So I lay down on my bed and BAM! I wake up and it's 7:30am.

This was going to be the third time I'd gone out for some form of social interaction (not including family birthdays) all year... I guess not.

On a semi related note, one of my little cousins is turning 12 today and is having her birthday at LaserTag (Zone3). I'm 24 and I will be playing LazerTag with a bunch of 12 year olds... and this is the most exiting thing I will have done all year.


Friday, September 10, 2010

Double Digits! thank you

I noticed on a lot of the blogs I follow they have recently done a "Thanks for following me and supporting me" post because they have hit 100 or 200 followers. They always follow it up by saying something like "If I could thank you all individually I would."

Well I would like to celebrate hitting the double digits (yay 12 followers!) by first saying "Thanks for following me and supporting me" and following that up with "If I could thank you all individually I would." Oh wait a second... I CAN AND I WILL!

A big thanks to these people:

sildudeArtwork Blog of awesome - He gets first place because he agreed to paint a whale rowing a paddle boat on the ocean. You should follow him.

chasityxo - The Beautiful Life - A blog about being a parent but also sometimes including funny stuff and daily games. 

Cynthia - Life Hack it - A pretty cool and growing collection of life hacks and other cool info.

Stumble Upon Finds! - The Loon uses Stumble Upon a lot and when he comes across cool stuff posts them in the blog. He actually started following me while I was typing this post and I only noticed when I hit the Preview button.

Thanks to the following people also but you did not link your blog in your profile so I have not been able to follow you back :(

Dylan Broadbent

Thursday, September 9, 2010

A pink t-shirt

At my work, fridays are considered a casual day where people can dress in a more relaxed manner such as t-shirts and jeans or shorts if it's warm enough. I have a fascination with having to wear all of the clothing I own and when I see something in my wardrobe that I have not worn for a while I feel a compulsion to wear it. Today it was a pink t-shirt. I only own one pink t-shirt and it deserves to be worn damit!

When I put it on I was sure it looked sensible and not over the top and something along the lines of this:

But the moment I walked into the office my opinion of myself changed instantly and I had a feeling that when people looked at me what they saw was something more along the lines of this:

I think I look like a douche... I mean, the t-shirt does not even have a collar, I am not wearing a cap, I don't have a fake tan or any tattoos or anything, but everyone I look at that looks back at me gives me the distinct feeling that in their head I must be the biggest fucking douche on the planet...

... I guess what I am saying is I should wear this pink t-shirt more often.

A little regret and my out of control imagination

My usual attitude towards pretty much any situation is generally identical nearly every time... something along the lines of 'I don't really give a fuck.' But today for some reason a little bit of regret hit me.

Now how I am going to explain this is by going through explaining first the girl, then my current personal situation, and then my insane mind. And the other thing I need to do is to warn you that this is not some epic cool story bro, it's just an example on how my imagination sometimes takes the smallest insignificant situation and blows it way out of control in my head.

What happened was I was leaving work and as I walked through the car park towards my car I looked over to my right and saw a girl that I have seen before.

The Girl: Many of my lunch breaks consist of a trip across the road to Subway and this day was no exception. But as I walk through the door and line up in the queue I see a girl waiting at the register for a smoothy she already ordered and for some reason I can not fucking take my eyes off her. I don't find anything particularly special about her, in fact if anything she is spectacularly plain. She has straight long black hair, very white skin (no tan at all), a decent figure (not super fit but in NO way fat), and even nicely dressed.

She looks at me for a moment and then quickly looks away, then does not look at me again which already gives me the impression she is in no way interested. When she leaves I watch her and see that she walks across the road and into the building next to the one I work in which is also used by the same organisation I work for so now I know she works at the same place I do... and that's all I know.

As soon as I get back to my desk I spend the rest of my lunch going through random names on the staff directory intranet page hoping to come across her picture and find out her name (there are literally thousands of staff listed in the directory so realistically I had no chance of finding her).

I have only seen her one other time at Subway after that and basically the same thing happened and she did not look at me at all.

My Current Situation: I am 24 years old and I have not had a girlfriend for something like 6 years. No one night stands, no fuck buddy, basically no female friendship of any kind for 6 or so years. What's even worse is I have also had very minimal male friendship over the last few years also. When I was 18 I moved interstate and about 2000km away (metric system motherfucker, deal with it). I had to make all new friends which I did, and I kept those friendships for a few years but over time we drifted apart and now the closest thing I have to friendship is two guys I know that I usually am lucky to be in contact with maybe once every few months.

The problem with this type of a lack of social interaction, especially in relation to women, is that the problem itself is what makes the problem worse. As time goes on with less and less social interaction you grow more and more socially awkward. As you grow more and more socially awkward it becomes harder and harder to partake in social interaction.
It is pretty hard for the guy with no friends to get invited to a party. You don't exactly look like a guy that girls what to get to know when you go to the cinema by yourself. It's pretty hard to get the motivation to go to a night club when you realise you are going all by yourself, and the times you do convince yourself to go you feel like a retard because, lets face it, you at a nightclub by yourself.

My Insane Mind: I look across the parking lot and see the girl. She is doing that thing when you are in a rush but not enough of a rush for an all out sprint, she is running, then walking, then running, then walking some more etc. Once again I can not take my eyes off her and she looks across in my direction a few times but I can not be sure if she is actually looking at me or not as there is a bit of distance between us. We are walking parallel to each other and I see her pause for a moment an take her shoes off so she can move faster and/or easier and there is something about her running down the street with her bare feet that I find very sexy. She continues down the road and I go to my car.

As I am driving down the road and turn a corner I see her heading the same direction still doing the run/walk thing. Just before I catch up to her an idea flashes in my mind "what if I pull up beside her and ask her if she needs a lift since she looks like she is in some kind of rush to get wherever she is going?" but as soon as the thought enters my head I get a mix of just thinking "pfft that's just stupid, who gets in some strangers car? someone looking to get raped that's who" and "oh dear god a girl!" then it is already too late and I am going past her and I get my last moment of "If I slam on my breaks now maybe I can still do it." But I don't... and then my insane imagination takes over.

For the next half an hour my mind takes over and my body goes into 'auto-drive-yourself-home' mode and it's almost like I am not even looking at the road while I drive. My imagination runs completely out of control and creates all these fictional situations from her refusing the lift, to her taking the lift, to different fictional conversations we have while she is in my car. From finding out she already has a boyfriend to finding out she is just not interested, or that she is even a lesbian. From where I drive her to all the different ways I could ask her out and even just what her name is... and it keeps going! I am only about half way home now so my insane mind goes to the extreme and begins go fantasise an entire fictional relationship from our first date, to meeting up at work, further dating, eventually taking her home, far later even meeting my parents and getting married.

I barely even realise that I am now sitting in my car... at home... parked in my driveway... with the motor running. I 'wake up' and my out of control imagination finally releases it's grip on me and as I am walking to my front door, thinking about what just happened, about how a half an hour drive home felt like and entire lifetime...

... and then I realise how insane I am to have basically created an entire relationship in my head simply by driving past some girl I don't even know.

TLDR; I am fucking crazy and have no control over my imagination.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

These things I do... Short Films

Since I can't think about anything better to mention at the moment, lets hear about another one of these things I do...
When I am on my lunch break at work I like to watch short films while I eat. In fact I like to watch short films whenever I find I have a little free time but not enough time to watch a full length feature film. My favourite place to find good short films online is on the video streaming site Vimeo and for the last few months I have been spending my lunch breaks working my way through all the videos on the Vancouver Film School (VFS) channel.

You may be more aware of the work of VFS than you think if you have seen the movie District 9 as director Neill Blokamp is a VFS alumni as well as many of the production staff and effects staff that worked on the movie. In fact, over 40 former VFS students were involved in the making of District 9.

The VFS channel on Vimeo consists of hundreds of works done by VFS students and are of the highest quality. If you are interested in short films, mini documentaries, or even things such as sound design or animation I highly recommend checking out the VFS channel on Vimeo by clicking here.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

These things I do...

Welcome to another edition of These Things I Do...

This is something I am sure a lot of other people also do, and in fact I am doing it right now. I waste excessive amounts of time on the internet doing pointless stuff and things, but I think that a lot of the time I take it a bit further than most people. I have created more free websites and forums and blogs and even social networks than I can even remember. This always happens while I am at work and really should be working. It normally goes something like this:

'Oh look, they are offering free sub domains, maybe I will just take a couple of minutes and sign up so I can use it later at some point...'
... I then spend the entire rest of the day setting up a new site or forum that no one will ever visit while my work load gets out of control.

Monday, September 6, 2010

These things I do...

I have a lot of things I do that always make me wonder if other people do these things too. So I decided I will start going through some of these things one by one here, and the first one that comes to mind is this:

I always bring my Nintendo DS with me to work (and yes, I am at work right now) and every time I go to the toilet I slip my DS into my pocket and spend about 10-15 minutes on the toilet playing games on my DS.

I am currently playing my way through Final Fantasy Tactics A2 and I would have to say that it is my favourite game on the DS thus far. FF Tactics A2 is the sequel to what was my favourite game on the Gameboy Advance Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. It is a turn based strategy rpg, but what really makes it stand alone from other Final Fantasy games is that the story takes a back seat to the action (more action, less story) which I like.

Having a look at my saved game reveals I have been playing FF Tactics A2 for nearly 100 hours in total which is far more than any other hand held game I have ever played, even the Pokimans. Don't worry, not all those hours were played on the work toilet.

So thats one of 'those things I do' that I consider maybe a little wierd on my part. I will follow this up with other wierd 'things I do' in further posts.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

What is in a name?

I have nothing against people who use Apple products, but this did make me lol:

But realy, if you do start to consider some of the names web sites and applications use, it realy makes me wonder what these people where thinking when they come up with these names.
Some of the other wierd names that come to mind are:


Then there are the website domain names that people just do not think about before buying. Some of my favorites are the following: (Experts Exchange) (Therapist Finder) (Power Generators Italia) (Mole Station Native Nursery)

Just Finished Mafia II

I just finished playing Mafia II on PC and I would have to say it was a pretty damn good game. Although it is classed as an 'open world' game the story drives you through a very linear path through the entire game and although some missions may have different endings the results and story remain the same either way.

The other thing to take into account is that Mafia II is a pretty short game but that is ideal for people like me who don't have much time for playing games or like to get through and play as many games as possible. Many people have criticised the length of the game but in my opinion it was just long enough.

The story is fantastic, the voice acting is amazingly believable, and the entire city of Empire Bay is visually stunning and really immersive. I recommend this game for people who want a game with an epic story squeezed into a relatively short play time.